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Look

I do not understand
my feelings and cannot
determine my whereabouts
for when
love is forbidden,
it haunts me
and when it's
allowed it hides
I don't know where to look.
Unable to return
to my state of loneliness,
I'd be unreserved;
naivete,
a psuedo shell,
I become a simple
creature,
innocent warm
enchanted by kind words
and mysterious actions.
Instead of drawn
to confusion and bewilderment,
to shallow smiles,
that deteriorate,
my false sence of happiness.
Blank stares
make me realize
that reality is cruel,
as tomorrow comes
nothing will change,
and I will go on hiding.
Hiding from what is to become and hiding under what is to be.